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[24 Nov 2005|04:01pm] |
i realised something important yesterday.
i do love wellesley :)
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[20 Nov 2005|04:52pm] |
I haven't done my laundry for weeks. It's piled up on my chair, overflowed my basket, my closet is empty. But I have no motivation to do anything about it...because in two days, I'm going to be home.
And amidst the mess of my dorm room, I keep wondering...why did I come here? If I were closer to everyone I love, would I find myself aimlessly sitting on my bed, missing something else? Wondering what I'm missing? I think that I would.
I do know why I'm here - because I wouldn't be able to live with not knowing. I needed to see for myself, otherwise I could never imagine a different life - away from everything that just feels...comfortable. But why does it seem like I just make life harder than it should be? Maybe options get the better of me.
I constantly think to myself that everything I do, means that I'm not doing something else. And I want to do everything, experience everything, have everything...all at the same time. I know, it sounds a little spoiled, doesn't it? But it's so true - I cant describe the feeling I get when I think of being home and I want to be there every minute. At the same time, I couldn't give up being here, even if I find myself on the verge of tears being so unfamiliar, and feeling so incredibly lost and unsure. Sometimes I worry that I don't know what's best for myself - that everything I imagine is better off staying in my head than turning into a reality. Other times, I'm sure I know what I'm doing, and nothing could be better. In the end, I'm just scared of dreaming my life away and doing nothing.
I think I can love it here, I hope that everything comes together in time. It just takes time. For right now though, I can't wait to fly home and see everyone I love, and go to the places I love. There are some things I can live without...but I miss sitting in cafe borrone with Charline, eating dessert and chatting. I miss relaxing in my living room with Amy and Austin, watching movies with Youlee. I miss running around in the sun playing frisbee (badly), the palm trees and fountains. I miss the Stanford Shopping Center, and the holidays at home and my mom's cooking. I miss Ryan so much, and curling up and resting my head against his shoulder. I miss a lot of things...I've a lot to look forward to.
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[22 Sep 2005|10:31am] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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Coldplay - Sparks |
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Finally, some time to write.
I'm at Wellesley! It's strange, that I'd been basically waiting for college since I started...middle school, being here. So much of what I'd imagined college to be, I can have here - being near Boston, on a beautiful campus, somewhat on my own, roommates. Classes are challenging, but hopefully worthwhile. Bought my books, went into Boston a few times. Studied in Boston Commons :) Ordered Thai takeout last night, while watching a borrowed season 3 of Gilmore Girls. I can see myself here.
But there is something I hadn't thought much about before being here, that would change my satisfaction to an amazing experience. That something is feeling comfort, unguarded, and a bit indescribable, being with my friends from home. You guys are incomparable in my mind. I find that with everyone I meet, I'm looking in them for that familiarity, disappointed when it's not there. I do know (or well, hope) that I'll meet great people, great friends here at Wellesley. I also know that right now, I just miss my old friends - I love you guys.
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[17 Aug 2005|11:10am] |
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numa numa numa yay
my-yah-heee
my-yah-huuu
my-yah-haa
my-yah-ha haaa
:)
I'm going to miss you, Sandy, when I'm up in lonely Stockton. It's going to be weird not to be able to call you up and say, "Hey, Sandy, I'm outside your window. Let's go get coffee," or "SANDY! My heart just got stomped on...let's go get coffee." I'm going to miss all the times we've sat in your family room and talked about everything and nothing. Sigh. But at least now, at Pacific, I can meet people and be like "Nope. Sandy's so much better. You can't be my coffee/talk-about-everything/never-agree-on-anything buddy!"
I'll come visit you at Wellesley and you better come visit me at UOP. Good luck, dude.
<3 you!
-Amy
P.S. CAN'TSLEEPCLOWNSWILLEATME CAN'TSLEEPSHARKSWILLEATME.
P.S.S. I promise I logged on and only clicked on the update button. I have no desire to know everything you're thinking. It'd probably creep me out. :)
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[04 Aug 2005|07:29pm] |
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music |
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duncain sheik - for you |
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Took the French final today:) No more class...and I officially have nothing to do for the rest of summer. Except work for 7 hours a week. Come hang out with me!
Finally bought tickets to Boston...leaving August 25th. And I haven't made any packing lists/trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond, IKEA, or Target. Hm. Maybe I should do that soon?
On another note, I'm going through a John Cusack movie/Sheryl Crow/Lisa Loeb/Duncan Sheik phase. Save me.
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[31 Jul 2005|04:03pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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Michael Buble - Home |
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I love John Cusack.
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| ah....to REALLY have nothing to do |
[09 Jun 2005|10:36pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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the killers - mr brightside |
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Do you know your ABC's?
A - Age you got your first kiss: 15
B - Band listening to right now: Dave Matthews
C - Crush: Ryan :)
D - Dad's name: Patrick
E - Easiest person(s) to talk to: All of my close friends
F - Favorite bands at the moment: David Bowie, Counting Crows, Third Eye Blind, Coldplay, Snow Patrol...
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: Oh man. I can't choose...both!
H - Hometown: Mountain View
I - Instruments: Piano...and the recorder!
K - Kids: Uhm, none. But I want two!
L - Longest car ride ever: From Virginia to California, when I moved at age 3
M - Mom's name: Mimi
N - Nicknames: Dandy, Sands, Rory (only by Amy Tong), Sandydandy,
O - One wish: World peace! (seriously though)
P - Phobia(s): Being alone with no one to have meaningful conversations with, losing my passions and goals, never finding the love of my life, scary movies, etc...
Q - Quote: Of the moment? "If all is grounded, you should go make a mountain out of it." - Jason Mraz
R - Reason to smile: Family, friends, a certain boy.
S - Song you sang last: "Here's to the Night" - Eve6
T - Time you woke up today: 7:30 am
V - Vegetable you hate: Mushrooms. Or well, if that's considered a fungi, then eggplant.
W - Worst habit(s): Procrastination
X - X-rays you've had: Teeth, and...that's it I think
Y - Yummy food: Hawaiian pizza, samosas, sourdough rolls, potatoes prepared in any way, paratha
Z - zodiac sign: Aquarius
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[31 May 2005|08:53pm] |
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mood |
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nostalgic |
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music |
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david gray |
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Johnny Depp (Don Juan): There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.
- from Don Juan De Marco
Hm.
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[26 May 2005|01:15pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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hootie and the blowfish |
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Ah...to have nothing to do.
As a senior awaiting graduation, this is all I have left to complete: senior project presentation, physics final, and civics term paper. Of those three, only the physics final is something to worry about.
Thus, I have been very unproductive for the past two weeks, and will be for the next three. My accomplishments so far this week?
Yesterday: I broke the button off Ryan's pants.
Tuesday: Hm. Can't even remember.
Monday: Went shopping/watched a movie with Alanna.
But today will be different. Today I will study for a physics test. :)
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[11 Apr 2005|08:50pm] |
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mood |
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 lazy |
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music |
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jack johnson's new CD |
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So. I really don't want to work on my senior paper. Which is four pages long right now. And basically needs to be done by this Sunday. Yay.
Anyyyway. Life has been moving very, very slowly. Trying to decide whether to go to Wellesley or Berkeley...I change my mind every day :) But Cal day this Saturday + trip to Boston over spring break should help!
I succeeded in doing nothing productive this weekend...but it was fun! Friday night Wei, Brian, Tim and I went to a free All-American Rejects concert. It was...ok. The lead singer is permanently damaged from too much acid. Then Wei and Julia and I went on our Sadies "date"! Haha cheesecake factory was fun. Saturday = tufts reception. Kind of awkward, but thank goodness Austin came with me, and I think we met some cool people. Saturday evening, got dragged out to dinner by Amy, Austin, and Kaz. Haha...Chili's and a stop at Target. The new Jack Johnson CD is awesome! I've listened to it five times in a row already.
Yea...I tried to work on my paper on Sunday, but I kind of didn't.
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| no mooore waiting :) |
[02 Apr 2005|02:50pm] |
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mood |
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 thankful |
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music |
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donovan frankenreiter - it don't matter |
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And I am done! Here are Sandy's college options:
Berkeley
Wellesley
Tufts
GWU(Elliot School of Int'l Affairs)
UCLA
UCSD
UCI
Right now, it's a nice four-way tie between Berkeley, Wellesley, Tufts and GWU. Yay for being indecisive. At least I get to take a trip to Boston over Spring Break to make up my mind...
But yes, the waiting period is over. So, guys, tell me, where do you think I should go?
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[16 Mar 2005|07:03pm] |
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I have a lovely bunch of coconuts. (hoorah!)
There they are standing in a row. (Since when are my coconuts detachable?)
Big ones (with the help of a wonderbra), small ones (my normal size), some the size of my head (whoa! porn star!)
....
I am a single (fe)male in search of a man who loooooooooooooooooves to work hard....
...if you know what I mean. I'm also in search of a man with an incredibly big...
heart. What the hell were you thinking?
This has been an update brought to you by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) buhlog01
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| so i enjoy some kelly clarkson once in awhile...that's ok, right? |
[06 Mar 2005|08:09pm] |
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mood |
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 indifferent |
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music |
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since you've been gone |
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Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Since you've been gone
You dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin' on
Thanks to you
Now I get what I want
Since you've been gone
How can I put it? You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Since you've been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way...
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin' on
Thanks to you
Now I get what I want
- Kelly Clarkson
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| a nice dose of e.e. cummings |
[26 Feb 2005|05:57pm] |
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music |
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sarah mclachlan |
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My favorite poem at the moment...
"sweet spring is your
time is my time is our
time for springtime is lovetime
and viva sweet love"
(all the merry little birds are
flying in the floating in the
very spirits singing in
are winging in the blossoming)
lovers go and lovers come
awandering awondering
but any two are perfectly
alone there's nobody else alive
(such a sky and such a sun
i never knew and neither did you
and everybody never breathed
quite so many kinds of yes)
not a tree can count his leaves
each herself by opening
but shining who by thousands mean
only one amazing thing
(secretly adoring shyly
tiny winging darting floating
merry in the blossoming
always joyful selves are singing)
"sweet spring is your
time is my time is our
time for springtime is lovetime
and viva sweet love"
- e.e. cummings
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| dis ish amerrrrrrrrrs |
[22 Feb 2005|11:32pm] |
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mood |
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 horny |
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music |
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Candy Shop - 50 cent |
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HEEEE. This isn't Sandy but I was getting tired of her not updating therefore I am updating for her. I've decided that I'm going to fill out a bunch of surveys as her but by meeeeeeeeeeeee! Enjoy. hehehehehehe.
( kissing survey )
( survey thing )
LOL. i loooooove updating for sandy dandy! muhahahaha. there are in no way her real answers. just FYI.
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[15 Feb 2005|12:05am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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:) |
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I just had the best day. :)
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| :) |
[04 Feb 2005|11:34pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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depeche mode (burned by julia!) |
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Thanks to everyone for making my birthday a happy one!
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[02 Feb 2005|11:13am] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
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music |
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music makes my head hurt. |
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Oh man. I think I have the stomach flu. ASB retreat was awesome. Came home and threw up 15 times till yesterday morning. I am fully convinced that I will never get wasted, because the aftermath can't possibly be worth it, there is no worse physical discomfort. Feeling better though - perhaps I'll eat some solid food today. I hope I'll be able to eat on my birthday at least! I miss school, and it's so beautiful outside. Watch it'll rain when I go back.
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